Remembering

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day--there is an entire day set aside to remember all these children called home too soon.  Two years ago, I probably didn't pay too close attention to October 15.  Now I am a part of this greater community of people missing and remembering their babies. 

Instead of feeling down and wishing Norah was sitting right next to me, today I am choosing to remember how good God has been to me and my family over the last two years.  I am remembering how He has blessed me through Norah's death.  Her death has changed me, and I have grown in my faith and understanding of God's greater plan for me and my family.  Is it still hard?  Does it still hurt?  Of course..... 

Today I am remembering Norah in all her beauty and perfection.  I'm talking about her with Maggie and Elliott and one day soon will be able to tell this baby girl kicking inside me that she has another sister in heaven.  I'm looking at her one and only picture album and thanking God for those short 18 weeks where I got to care for her.  I am not thinking about the "what if's" today, I'm praising God that she gets to be rejoicing with Him in her most perfect heavenly body and that she doesn't have to feel the disappointment or the sadness that this world can bring.  She will never have to feel lonely or afraid, and she will forever be watching over our family.  And tonight we will worship at Rooftop Church and will remember our babies and a God who authored their lives and who is bigger than all our pain and suffering.