"In the silence, in the waiting.
Yes we can know You are good. Yes we can know You are good."
Two days a week, both of my kids are in school ALL morning. I thought I would be rejoicing and singing the Hallelujah Chorus as I dropped them off at their respective schools.... It hit me like a ton of bricks last Thursday morning. I came home and stood in the kitchen not knowing quite what to do with myself. It was SOOOO quiet. Apparently I am not good at silence. I sat at the kitchen table and just cried and cried. For 9 months, my kids have been my stability, my little rocks. They don't even know it--heck, I didn't even know it until all of a sudden--silence.
I am trying to fill my time. I can't sit at home every Tuesday and Thursday morning and cry because I am alone. So what do I do with the silence? I saw Dr. C yesterday. She told me I needed to schedule things for myself to do--volunteer at Maggie's school, meet with friends. She pointed out that my kids are my job, and when they are gone, it is hard to not think about having Norah around. I am thankful that I finally had a "good" doctor's appointment. It was the first time in a YEAR that I didn't leave there in tears. My body seems to finally be getting back to a normal state. Now I just have to put all my trust in Him to fill my silence in whatever way is in His plan.
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On a completely unrelated note, this week was the 16th anniversary of my cousin Holly's attack. We grew up with our cousins like they were extended siblings. We spent every day together during the summers. All the girls used to line up at my house before school and my mom would French braid everyone's hair and send us out the door one by one to walk to school. I'm so grateful to have that special relationship with her and all my cousins.
Here is a link to her story---she was featured on 48 Hours Live to Tell
CBS 48 Hours Live to Tell
Here is another link to a short interview
http://vimeo.com/18670332
I've always been struck by her courage to tell her story, to be transparent and to help other people. I guess in a small way, I want to be the same way. Not only is her message of advocacy but it is also a message of hope, of how you can get through anything that comes your way in life if you have the right people by your side and you keep your faith that God has a plan for you. Thank you, cousin for re-teaching me those lessons!! I am so proud of you and how you have used your pain for God's glory:)
I am trying to fill my time. I can't sit at home every Tuesday and Thursday morning and cry because I am alone. So what do I do with the silence? I saw Dr. C yesterday. She told me I needed to schedule things for myself to do--volunteer at Maggie's school, meet with friends. She pointed out that my kids are my job, and when they are gone, it is hard to not think about having Norah around. I am thankful that I finally had a "good" doctor's appointment. It was the first time in a YEAR that I didn't leave there in tears. My body seems to finally be getting back to a normal state. Now I just have to put all my trust in Him to fill my silence in whatever way is in His plan.
*********
On a completely unrelated note, this week was the 16th anniversary of my cousin Holly's attack. We grew up with our cousins like they were extended siblings. We spent every day together during the summers. All the girls used to line up at my house before school and my mom would French braid everyone's hair and send us out the door one by one to walk to school. I'm so grateful to have that special relationship with her and all my cousins.
Here is a link to her story---she was featured on 48 Hours Live to Tell
CBS 48 Hours Live to Tell
Here is another link to a short interview
http://vimeo.com/18670332
I've always been struck by her courage to tell her story, to be transparent and to help other people. I guess in a small way, I want to be the same way. Not only is her message of advocacy but it is also a message of hope, of how you can get through anything that comes your way in life if you have the right people by your side and you keep your faith that God has a plan for you. Thank you, cousin for re-teaching me those lessons!! I am so proud of you and how you have used your pain for God's glory:)
1 comment:
Yay for a good appointment!
Will pray that you find a good balance of filling the silence but enjoying some quiet because with the craziness of raising little ones ~ we moms also need some quiet.
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