My devotion from Our Daily Bread (You can read it here) really struck me this morning. The title is "Almost Content?" This resonates with me. Am I just living my life in this "almost content" state? Will I always feel incomplete without Norah here? Can I just be completely content with my life as it is now?
I feel like we are now in that "what's next" phase. I am still healing emotionally and physically. We are getting closer and closer to November 26. We are not pregnant again. We are not even close to pregnant again. I am not even sure another pregnancy at this point would even make me content because I know that a lot of fear and anxiety will come along with that.
Right now, my goal is to be content in each day. Can I just pour myself into Him the one who created me and my family and already knows what is going to happen next? It says it right there in Hebrews:
“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things
as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor
forsake you’” (13:5)
It is hard because I want to put my trust in people, in doctors, in friends. I want answers from them, but when it comes down to it, people don't have all the answers--God does. I love what is says in Psalm 146:
Praise the Lord, my soul.
2 I will praise the Lord all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
5 Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God.
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
3 Do not put your trust in princes,
in human beings, who cannot save.
4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.
5 Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the Lord their God.
6 He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
he remains faithful forever.
7 He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
8 the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
the Lord loves the righteous.
9 The Lord watches over the foreigner
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
the sea, and everything in them—
he remains faithful forever.
7 He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
8 the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
the Lord loves the righteous.
9 The Lord watches over the foreigner
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
It says it right there in vs. 3--"Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save." I keep trying to do this! I am not saying that God has not sent me many, many, many people to help me with my healing because He has. But, these people are not getting me to heaven to be with Norah again! He is the only way....
So, today I am going to willfully be more content and not worry too much about our next step. Man, is that hard because I have all sorts of things in my head swirling around, telling me how I want my life to go. But life is way too short to not enjoy each moment as it comes!
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Maggie drew this picture of her family last night. Our kids continue to amaze us with their hearts for Norah. Notice how she is hovering above our family:) I am so thankful we decided to take the path of talking about her and loving her even though she is not with us. I told Elliott the other day that someday we will get to see her again....his response was "When we get to heaven to see Norah, can we bring her home with us?"
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