Fresh Dirt

Greg and I stopped by the cemetery last night on our way to a meeting.  It had been a week and a half since we had been there.  When we pulled up, I noticed a giant basket of flowers on the dirt which appeared to be Norah's grave.  As we approached, we realized that it was a brand new, freshly dug grave.  Another sweet baby laid to rest and by the looks of the fresh flowers, it appeared to have been dug within the last few days.

My heart is broken again....for a family I don't even know.  Their child is buried right next to mine in the "infant section" of the cemetery.  I want to know them.  I want to reach out and tell them that I understand their pain and suffering and even though it will never, ever go away completely that it won't sting quite so much as it does right now.

Today I had lunch with a new friend, a friend I met at a grief meeting who lost her son Hunter a little over a year ago.  I met her last month at the meeting....she was sitting right by me and we discovered that we lived just a few miles from each other.  We talked and talked for over an hour and a half and would have continued to talk had I not had to pick up Maggie from school.  The whole time I was thinking, she GETS me.  We both teared up several times, but it was like we had known each other for years.  I didn't feel awkward or strange just pouring out my heart about Norah and listening to her talk about Hunter....because they were OURS.  Norah and Hunter were our children...even though we never got to have time with them here on earth.

I haven't written about this yet because sometimes I don't want to admit to myself that I know so many people who have felt this pain.  I wasn't able to understand fully the pain friends were feeling for their lost children....for Liam, Jordyn, Barrett, Wyatt, Hunter, and for that baby who was just buried right next to Norah.  They were each born and died under different circumstances, but that doesn't make them any less of OUR children.  I love Norah just as much as I love Maggie and Elliott.  Don't tell me that I should be grateful for the two living children I DO have....I AM grateful for them, but that doesn't change the fact that I wanted Norah too!

I am thankful for new friends and old friends too who also get me right now.  Heck, I am thankful for friends who don't truly understand but make time for me and keep me busy.  As much as I don't want to be a part of this new "club," it helps to have people understand where you are coming from and encourage you through the grief.

I am up a bit early this morning and had a little quiet time.  My heart is heavy for my friends Kelly and Dennis as they celebrate the one year birthday of their angel Jordyn today.  I pray today brings them hope and reminders of sweet Jordyn.  My devotional was perfect for them today...

"Jesus is praying for us....Jesus has spoken and Satan has listened.  The devil may land a punch or two.  He may even win a few rounds, but he never wins the fight.  Because Jesus takes up for you....'He is able always to save those who come to God through him because he always lives, asking God to help them' (Heb. 7:25)

Jesus, at this very moment, is protecting you....Evil must pass through Christ before it can touch you.  And God will 'never let you be pushed past your limit;  he'll always be there 

to help you come through it ' (1 Cor. 10:13 MSG)