The Storm

There have been so many horrible storms this spring.  Thankfully, we have been relatively unscathed by the path of any severe weather.  In some ways I think the aftermath of the storm is worse than the storm itself.  It happens so quickly, it is out of your control, you feel somewhat in shock that it has happened to you. 

I would say that my life has been a storm for the last almost 7 months.  The actual storm hit us hard on November 26, but the after effects have been much more difficult.  The clean up from the devastation seems never ending.  Life will never be the same.  We are rebuilding a "new normal" in the Cook house. 

There was an article in the St. Louis Post Dispatch over the weekend.  A good friend sent me the link and Greg also mentioned that he saw it.  You can find the link HERE.  It is about a woman's faith after the death of her husband and two sons back in January.  They were hiking and when they left, the temperature was in the 60's, but rain started falling mid afternoon and the temperatures dropped and the man and his two kids missed the trail and did not survive the cold, rainy night.  I actually vividly remember this day.  It was the first day I went to the cemetery by myself to see Norah.  It was probably around 1:00 when I got there and the rain had just started blowing in.  By the end of my visit with her, it was pouring and I was soaked. 

The article says this:

Indeed, for Sarah, an explanation for how she moves forward comes not only from God’s love but also from a deep belief in God’s mysterious plan.

“He wants to use us for a purpose,” she said. “I don’t know why he would do that to us to serve some purpose, but I know there is one.”

At least a dozen times in the last four months, she has written in her journal: “Profound loss has to have a profound purpose.”

I keep saying her quote to myself--"profound loss has to have a profound purpose."   Some days I feel like my storm is still brewing.  It is never ending.  There are so many repercussions from Norah's death--Fear, anxiety, stress, pain, grief, discouragement.  And not just for me but for the rest of my family.  But I also know that all those emotions are normal but do not come from God.  

The clean-up is tough, it is hard and I don't want to do it anymore.  I may be broken and scarred from the storm, but I already know the end to the story.  I know who be victorious. 

^"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)