Support Group

I had grief support group this week.  It was much needed as I hadn't been able to go in a couple of months.  The group was a bit smaller, and I have really come to appreciate some of the connections I have made there.  I hate that I am now lumped into this group of people who have all lost babies in one way or another!  But I am grateful that I have a place to go when I feel out of place in this world. 

For some reason, I have been really discouraged lately.  Grief is such a roller coaster.  I am doing fine one week, and then the next I am a complete basket case.  I love summer and love being carefree, but the lack of schedule is kind of throwing me for a loop.  I miss the structure of Maggie being in school three days a week and the interactions that come along with that.  Then I feel guilty for feeling this way.  Why can't I be happy with what I have currently? 

Going to grief group really allows me to voice these things and everyone understands.  Everyone nods.  Everyone has been there or is there currently.  Everyone is missing their babies--whether it happened five years ago or five weeks ago. 

I was at Hobby Lobby yesterday (let's be honest, I go there A LOT) and I just passed this aisle and saw this...

 

I had this scripture in my dorm room freshman year of college.  Back then I wasn't worried about much, just that God would direct me in making good decisions (which in college wasn't always the case!).  I believe He led me to Greg and to a fulfilling career.  When I saw this yesterday, I didn't hesitate, I just stuck it in the cart, because I NEED this reminder every.single.day.  I hung it up at the bottom of my stairs, so it is the first thing I see in the morning when I come down and the last thing I see when I turn the light out and go up to bed at night.  

But man, is it hard to trust.  It is hard to know that God has this all figured out.  The suffering, the grief, the pain, the waiting...it sucks.  

And then He reminds me that He redeemed ME.  I am here and alive!  He reminds me that His son suffered more than anyone else on that cross and truly knows this suffering here on earth is temporary.  He reminds to get up each day and trust Him and praise Him for the blessings He has given me.  Here are just a few...