Worn down

I'm worn down.  I don't really have anything to say except that.  The weather has been dreary.  Elliott was sick with a stomach bug last week, Maggie woke up this morning throwing up and hasn't kept anything down all day.  My dryer has been broken for almost a week (thankfully was fixed today)!  I've been washing clothes and relying on people to dry them for me, which has been awesome that people would do that for you, but it also is super annoying when your kids need multiple clothes and sheet changes each day.  I'm tired, I have a cold, I can't stop sneezing, I haven't showered today or gotten dressed in what feels like days!

I'm just one big bundle of complaint today, I guess.  I feel trapped--trapped inside my house, trapped in the mundane, trapped inside this person who doesn't quite feel like "me" yet.  I desperately need spring more than I have ever needed spring before!  I need sunshine and need to get outside.  I need this to all be behind me, but I am pretty sure I will never feel like it is. 

As I have been lugging Maggie to and from the bathroom about 15 times today and up and down the stairs, I thought to myself, how in the world would you have been able to do this 31 weeks pregnant??  I obviously would have just done it.  I would do anything to be 31 weeks pregnant!

Yesterday was February 26, three months since we lost Norah.  And I'm sad that 90 days has gone so quickly, and I am scared about what the next 90 days will bring.    This verse popped up in my devotional this week--

"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth." --Psalm 46:10 

God is on such a different level than the rest of us.  What scares us, doesn't scare Him.  What wears us down, doesn't wear Him down.  What makes us weary, doesn't phase Him.  I have to keep reminding myself that I matter to Him.  My tears matter, my hurt matters to my Almighty Father.  I may feel worn down today, but I pray He lifts me up tomorrow!