Scars

When I was around 10 years old, I flipped over the handle bars on my bike.  I remember exactly where I was and exactly what I was wearing--my favorite white tank top was covered in blood and ruined.  I remember that my bike was broken to the point where I couldn't ride it home and my sister and I had to get a ride home in a friend's car.  It's funny how you remember those things!  I still have a scar on my left elbow from that fall.  It obviously doesn't look the same as it did 23 years ago, but it is still there.  Maggie often asks what that is on my elbow, and I tell her the story of how I fell off my bike many years ago.

I've been thinking about all my scars, how they never go away.  They are constant reminders of things that hurt.  I have a new scar.  It starts at my belly button and goes down past my C-section scars.  It is a symbol of that evil cyst that was causing me pain.  It is a symbol of a sweet baby lost.  It is a symbol of lots of pain, physical and emotional.  It will never go away....but it will fade over time.  Each day, it will become less sore and less of a reminder, but I will never forget.

I heard this song on the radio recently by Johnny Diaz.  I've always liked it, but it has more meaning for me now.

There once was a King who so burdened with grief
Walked into death so that we could find peace
He rose up with scars on his hands and his feet
By them we are healed, by them we are healed.

Praise God we don't have to hide scars
They just strengthen our wounds, and soften our hearts.
They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are
So praise God, praise God we don't have to hide scars

Jesus had scars too.  Those are also so symbolic for us as Christians.  Every time I feel burdened by my scars, I will try hard this new year to remember His.